Athletes And The Stupid Crimes They’ve Committed
Common sense isn’t so common. Seriously, we can’t make this stuff up.
These stories will have you shaking your head.
You bet their lawyer is on speed dial,
The Last Night’s Game Team
1. Picture this. You’re out with your friends enjoying a night at the club when a gun goes off. Then you realize it was your gun and you’ve accidentally shot yourself in the leg. That’s exactly what happened to Plaxico Burress (NFL – National Football League). We forgot to mention that the club was in New York City, known for tough gun laws. Oh, and the gun wasn’t registered. Yep, that landed Burress in the slammer. NOT SHOOTING BLANKS
2. It’s definitely against the rules for a player to bet on the professional sport they play in. Enter Pete Rose. He’s MLB’s (Major League Baseball) all-time leader in hits and is banned for life from baseball (and from the hall of fame) for doing just that. Rose bet on Cincinnati Reds games while playing for and managing the team. While betting isn’t illegal in the eyes of the law, tax evasion is. Rose served five months in a minimum-security prison for federal income-tax evasion. You can find Rose most weekends signing autographs for a fee in a Las Vegas casino. A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME…WOULD STILL BET ON BASEBALL
3. Dallas Cowboys (NFL) player Nate Newton was arrested for being in possession of 213 pounds of marijuana. While he was out on bond, he was caught with another 175 pounds of marijuana. Newton served 2.5 years where he hopefully gained a little common sense. CAN’T MAKE THIS UP
4. Lenny Dykstra went from the top of the world as World Series winner with the New York Mets (MLB) in 1986 to prison. Long story short, post-baseball he claimed to have a 100% hit rate at picking winning stocks and convinced people to jump on board his bandwagon, including the money man himself - Jim Cramer. Then he failed at starting a magazine, meanwhile pissing a lot of people off. Eventually he filed for bankruptcy, owing an obscene amount of money to creditors. Life finally caught up with him when he was arrested and served time in prison for bankruptcy fraud. He hid a bunch of assets during his bankruptcy filing and decided to sell them afterward for cash. Shocking, he got caught. THEY KNOW EVERYTHING
5. We saved the best for last. You’ve probably seen the movie and know the story of Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan. When Kerrigan stood in her way of her Olympic dreams, Harding and her ex-husband orchestrated an attack on Kerrigan at 1994 Olympic Trials. A hit to the knee by a hitman with a collapsible baton might have taken Kerrigan out, but she still went on to win a silver medal at the Winter Olympics. Harding was eventually banned from skating but ultimately avoided jail time by pleading guilty to hindering the investigation of the attack. THE ORIGINAL DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE
How Esports Saved The Day
While other sports are down and out, this sport is soaring. This isn’t your mama’s Mario Kart.
Even with a massive fan base, this sport requires no social distancing.
It’ll blow your mind,
The Last Night’s Game Team
1. Esports are based on multiplayer video games. The profession as we know it started off in a league of their own, but traditional sports leagues have jumped on the bandwagon (see below). Professional gamers play in tournaments and online. Online play will attract over 100,000 viewers who watch through Twitch, owned by Amazon, or YouTube. If you think that’s odd, on Sundays we all gather around to watch guys play football on TV. SAME SAME BUT DIFFERENT
2. Last year, people watched 6.6 billion hours of esports videos worldwide. The best part is that competition often doesn’t require hand washing or social distancing. Tournaments are often dictated by the game (i.e. Call of Duty) or esports gaming leagues (i.e. NBA 2K or Major League Gaming). Games are categorized by PC (computer) or console (i.e. Xbox). THESE GROWTH NUMBERS ARE CRAZY
3. Everyone wants a piece of the sport. Players resemble race car drivers with sponsor logos all over their tournament clothes. Coke and Nissan are on board and Red Bull has a massive portfolio of esports teams. And these players are making a ton of money, with the top three players in the world pulling in $3.16M in prize earnings last year. If that's not enough, universities are now offering esports scholarships. THIS AIN’T YOUR MAMA’S MARIO KART
4. This week the NBA (National Basketball Association) will launch a NBA 2k (a video game) tournament featuring 16 NBA players in a 10-day video game tournament that will air on ESPN. The league is hoping to bring “live basketball” back to your living room since we’re all feeling the void of professional sports. HITTING THE HARDWOOD
5. F1 (Formula One), MLB (Major League Baseball) and NASCAR (National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing) are all jumping on board with leagues of their own. NASCAR broke its own viewership records with their new eNASCAR iRacing Pro Invitational Series – real drivers racing on real racetracks…virtually. The series is being covered live on Fox Sports. LET’S GO CRAZY
Five Of The Most Memorable Athlete Movie Cameos
Some are obvious but some will surprise you.
While you’re immersed in Netflix, here are a few athletes to keep an eye out for.
Pass the popcorn,
The Last Night’s Game
1. Lance Armstrong. You might have seen him in his hilarious role in Tour de Pharma but Lance Armstrong’s most notable role was in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story. You might remember the cyclist gave a game changing motivational speech to Vince Vaughn’s character after quitting the team. Armstrong’s speech in the movie now seems a bit awkward after the doping scandal, “Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life.” We can think of a few other things he might regret. DODGE, DUCK, DIP, DIVE, DODGE
2. Brett Favre. There was Something About Mary that hall of fame quarterback Brett Favre (NFL – National Football League) managed to figure out. Favre was actually the third choice for the role in the movie behind former quarterbacks Drew Bledsoe and Steve Young. BUT HE STILL DIDN’T GET THE GIRL
3. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Not many on this list played such a pivotal role on the big screen as NBA (National Basketball Association) legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in the 1980 classic comedy, Airplane. As co-captain Murdock, he spent the movie denying he was actually a basketball player. And don’t call me Shirley. JUST AN AVERAGE JOE
4. Tom Brady. Tom Brady (NFL) might be one of the best to ever play the game but his side hustle is on the big screen. You’ve seen him in Ted 2, Entourage and Stuck on You. TAKE THAT GISELE
5. Cam Neely. While you may not know the NHL (National Hockey League) hall of famer by name, you’d most certainly remember him as his character Sea Bass in Dumb and Dumber. Between spitting into Jeff Daniels’ burger in the diner (“kick his - expletive - Sea Bass”) to the awkward gas station bathroom encounter, Neely’s character was certainly memorable. A LONELY TRUCKER