Failing a test is never fun but with their career on the line, athletes will say just about anything to prove their innocence. Here are the true stories of real, funny lies.
It wasn’t me,
The Last Night’s Game Team
Five Hilarious Excuses Athletes Have Used When Failing A Drug Test
1. New York Jets (NFL) player Jeremy Kerley blamed ghosts for his failed drug test. He stated that “There’s a lot of ghosts around here. Ghost put it in there. You know, the ghost of Christmas past? … I don’t know.” That didn’t work and he was suspended for four games.
2. Passionate kisses from bad women. Yes, more than one athlete has used this excuse. A Canadian pole vaulter (he tested positive for cocaine, not steroids – totally different) and an American track and field athlete were both allowed to compete after using this excuse.
3. If you’ve ever had the meat sweats, this one’s for you. Numerous athletes have blamed their drug test failures on the substances injected into cattle. An Olympic judo champion, a tennis player and an NFL (National Football League) player all failed tests because of said meat. The best was Duane Brown, the NFL player, who blamed it on the hamburgers he ate in Mexico. Clearly everyone knows that’s why tacos are always the best choice.
4. Cyclist Tyler Hamilton blamed his failed drug test on his vanishing twin. He said he absorbed the blood of his twin, who died in the womb, which caused him to fail the test. We can’t make this up.
5. In the ultimate test of chivalry, Olympic champion Dennis Mitchell blamed his high testosterone levels on his wife. More specifically on “five bottles of beer and sex with his wife at least four times…it was her birthday, the lady deserved a treat.” No one bought this Rico Suave’s story and he was banned for two years.
Happening now
Just say no to drugs and yes to the top three topics that everyone is talking about today including America’s sweetheart Lindsey Vonn, why football is getting so expensive and what baseball is doing to not to bore the pants off you. READ
