Calling In Sick - 5 Absurd Reasons Athletes Have Missed A Game
If you’re looking for an excuse to call in sick today, these might work if you can handle your boss laughing their (expletive) off.
If you’re looking for an excuse to call in sick today, these might work if you can handle your boss laughing their (expletive) off.
Points for creativity?
The Last Night’s Game Team
Five Absurd Reasons Athletes Have Missed A Game
1. Now retired basketball player and current TV analyst, Charles Barkley, missed a game after an incident involving lotion. He rubbed his eyes while at an Eric Clapton concert, had a bad reaction to the lotion on his hands and had to miss the Phoenix Suns (NBA – National Basketball Association) season opener. IT’S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE LOSES AN EYE
2. Former Baltimore Orioles (MLB – Major League Baseball) outfielder Marty Cordova missed a game due to severe burns he suffered from tanning bed exposure. BURNT TO A CRISP
3. In a motivational stunt gone wrong, former Jacksonville Jaguars (NFL – National Football League) punter Chris Hanson cut his leg with an axe, causing him to miss the entire season. The Jags coach put a log and an axe in the locker room as a motivational tool after a bad season start. This wasn’t Hanson’s first freak accident. He previously suffered severe burns when a fondue pot tipped over onto him. COVER HIM IN BUBBLE WRAP
4. MLB Baseball Hall of Famer Wade Boggs strained his back (and subsequently missed a few games) from putting on his cowboy boots. GIDDY UP
5. Former baseball player Glenallen Hill had a serious fear of spiders. He woke up in panic after having a dream about spiders and fell through a glass table. YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS UP
That's not all folks
If those freak accidents weren’t enough to keep you entertained, there’s more where that came from. Here are the top three things happening in the world of sports to keep the conversation flowing, including why you can’t be an athlete and drink beer, how Christmas came early for one fan and why a few Italian men are in big trouble. READ
5 Things To Know About The New Way To Bet On Sports
There’s been a lot of hype around the U.S. Supreme Court overturning a ruling on betting, but what does that mean for you, your paycheck and your state taxes?
There has been a lot of hype around the U.S. Supreme Court overturning a ruling on betting, but what does that mean for you, your paycheck and your state taxes?
Going all in,
The Last Night’s Game Team
Where were we? Before the ruling, if you wanted to place a bet on the outcome of an individual game it was illegal in all states, besides Nevada. The key word is individual games as other states had sports betting. Despite it being illegal to bet on individual games everywhere except Nevada, over $4.7 billion was bet on the Super Bowl - 97% illegally.
What does that mean for the cash burning a hole in my pocket? It will take some time for this to flush out. Much like legalizing marijuana, betting on individual games is determined at the state level. There are six states that are already working on laws to start operating. New Jersey is leading the pack, planning to take legal bets by Memorial Day, with other states hoping to get everything in place in time for the start of football season (Sept). WHY MARK CUBAN IS A BIG FAN
Everyone is looking to get a piece of the pie including professional teams that are hoping to drive attendance. Look no further than across the pond where many European sports stadiums have betting stations inside so you can bet while at the game. Adding live betting could help increase attendance at sporting events.
When we say everyone wants a piece of the pie, you didn’t think Uncle Sam wouldn’t be standing in line for a slice. Remember, winnings are taxable (provided the bet is legally placed). While those taxes may seem like a great revenue generator, don’t hold your breath. Sports betting revenue is a drop in the bucket for Nevada where it accounts for only two percent of the state’s gambling revenue. TAX ME
Ready to go all in? Here’s where your state stands as it relates to being able to place a bet on an individual game. Curious how to bet? Here’s our Five Things To Know About Sports Betting.
The trifecta to get you through your day
Keep up on the office chatter with today’s hot topics including why peeing in a cup could be hazardous to your baseball career, is P. Diddy the newest owner of a football team and which team literally won the lottery? READ
5 Hilarious Excuses Athletes Have Used When Failing A Drug Test
Failing a test is never fun but with their career on the line, athletes will say just about anything to prove their innocence. Here are the true stories of real, funny lies.
Failing a test is never fun but with their career on the line, athletes will say just about anything to prove their innocence. Here are the true stories of real, funny lies.
It wasn’t me,
The Last Night’s Game Team
Five Hilarious Excuses Athletes Have Used When Failing A Drug Test
1. New York Jets (NFL) player Jeremy Kerley blamed ghosts for his failed drug test. He stated that “There’s a lot of ghosts around here. Ghost put it in there. You know, the ghost of Christmas past? … I don’t know.” That didn’t work and he was suspended for four games.
2. Passionate kisses from bad women. Yes, more than one athlete has used this excuse. A Canadian pole vaulter (he tested positive for cocaine, not steroids – totally different) and an American track and field athlete were both allowed to compete after using this excuse.
3. If you’ve ever had the meat sweats, this one’s for you. Numerous athletes have blamed their drug test failures on the substances injected into cattle. An Olympic judo champion, a tennis player and an NFL (National Football League) player all failed tests because of said meat. The best was Duane Brown, the NFL player, who blamed it on the hamburgers he ate in Mexico. Clearly everyone knows that’s why tacos are always the best choice.
4. Cyclist Tyler Hamilton blamed his failed drug test on his vanishing twin. He said he absorbed the blood of his twin, who died in the womb, which caused him to fail the test. We can’t make this up.
5. In the ultimate test of chivalry, Olympic champion Dennis Mitchell blamed his high testosterone levels on his wife. More specifically on “five bottles of beer and sex with his wife at least four times…it was her birthday, the lady deserved a treat.” No one bought this Rico Suave’s story and he was banned for two years.
Happening now
Just say no to drugs and yes to the top three topics that everyone is talking about today including America’s sweetheart Lindsey Vonn, why football is getting so expensive and what baseball is doing to not to bore the pants off you. READ